morebetter: (Basic - Sitting Against Wall)
Mac McDonald ([personal profile] morebetter) wrote in [community profile] goneawaymemes 2020-04-05 06:19 pm (UTC)

d. welcome to hell, peter

The room Peter enters has been the site of what appears to be a Swedish disaster. At least four separate objects of furniture are scattered across the floor, most in near total stages of deconstruction. It's clear from the carnage that the guy chewing on a pen and staring at a print-out of assembly directions as if they're a Magic Eye book tried to unbox and assemble several separate projects at once, and that when he got confused, he just started mashing them together like some Beast Wars shit. Now pieces are missing and broken, screws and pegs are rolling around to the corner of the room, and a six-legged chair and a nightstand with one wheel attached to the top are competing for the most pathetic attempt at home furnishing.

"Oh, hey. Do you know where this guy Ben is? He's supposed to be rooming with me and as far as I can tell, I'm doing all the heavy labor around here."

He gives a look at the six-legged chair like he's proud of that accomplishment. His other successes so far seem to just be that he's already hacked the sleeves off his uniform and fixed a crucifix* onto the wall above where, presumably, the bunk bed is supposed to go, if only it weren't lying in pieces on the floor looking like a crime victim in need of a white chalk outline.

"Dude, if you help me put this together, you can have some of the pizza later. We'll get Ben to pay for it." There's got to be a way to get pizza here, and not that rubbery mess hall stuff, and Mac doesn't have any doubts about his ability to bully someone into giving him free stuff.

*Where Mac found a crucifix to put on the wall within three hours of being on the rig is a mystery without answer.

Post a comment in response:

If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting