"Just some scratches. I'm thinking we should be grateful that this is an office and not a hardware store." He sounds a little bit like he wishes it were a hardware store, not because the idea of duking it out with power tools and hardwood is particularly appealing, but because, as evidenced by the way he's rolled his sleeves up and keeps squinting at the fluorescent light like it's the menacing overhead on an examining table, Dan's basically allergic to office culture.

He pats the fire extinguisher. "I don't know if she'd call me a friend, but I'm fond of her already."