There's no coherent conspiracy theory taking shape in his head, as yet, but the explanations that they've been given sound like the sort of barely coherent fever-dream excuses that the Ministry was putting out while the Dark Lord amassed power again.

He doesn't like to give the Ministry credit, but they certainly tried harder than 'Stuff.' "I don't know! Wherever Muggles keep axes. I told you - I don't have my wand. I can't just say 'Accio axe' and have it come to me."